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I so often hear parents complain of their relationship with their children and the reason being because they are the \u201cdisciplinarian\u201d in the family.<\/p>\n
My first question to them is: What does discipline mean to you?<\/p>\n
The answers range from being strict, setting up rules, punishing, keeping them on a straight path through rigid means \u2026 but reality is, in order to better our relationships with our children and teach them what we believe are good values to hold growing up, we need to re-frame what discipline actually means.<\/p>\n
The word \u201cdiscipline\u201d originates from the Latin word disciplina which means \u201cinstruction\u201d and derives from the root discere which means \u201cto learn.\u201d The word discipulus which means \u201cdisciple or pupil\u201c also stems from this word.<\/p>\n
Re-framing our understanding of discipline is key to better disciplining our children and is best described, and ought to be understood, as\u00a0an\u00a0external\u00a0practice designed\u00a0to\u00a0bring\u00a0about\u00a0an\u00a0internal\u00a0change.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n As per the definition above, learning and giving or receiving instructions are best achieved when we are able to connect and motivate the person we are seeking to \u201cinform\u201d.<\/p>\n What is true of the feedback of the many parents I meet is that wrongfully understood discipline as being controlling, does not work, in the long run anyway.<\/p>\n While it may work for a short while, parents who use controlling discipline will eventually be at the receiving end of the sad outcome of being disconnected from their children and loosing much hope of teaching them valuable information.<\/p>\n The best way to achieve positive results with your children, regardless of their age, is to understand that:<\/p>\n The solution when facing having to \u201ccorrect\u201d your children is to ask yourself: Is what I\u2019m about to do or say going to bring me closer or push me further apart from my child.<\/em><\/p>\n Happy Disciplining and remember to have Fun doing it.<\/p>\n\n