• It’s time to tell the kids

    The end of a relationship is never easy. Telling your children that their parents are no longer going to live together and that their family, as they know it, is going to change forever, is probably one of the hardest talk a parent will ever have to have with their children. Divorcing parents are, however increasingly becoming aware of the importance to discuss the best way to announce the news to their children and, in the process, are putting their children’s needs first. They agree that their divorce is not their children’s divorce and that even though the parents will have to make sense of their own emotions in the…

  • Buying a Home as a Single Parent

    Buying a home can be challenging at the best of times. Buying a home as a single parent, especially after a divorce, can be a daunting experience with its own set of challenges. After all, there are so many steps, tasks, and requirements, and you may be anxious about making an expensive mistake. The person you were used to make decision with is no longer by your side and all the responsibilities lie on you now. Whether you owned a home together and now you are buying alone, or if you were renting before and are now purchasing your first property, you are venturing in new territory and you are…

  • Stay away from STILL people

    The dictionary defines STILL as remaining in place or at rest; motionless; stationary: to stand still, free from sound or noise, as a place or persons; hushed; free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil. However, there are also the STILL people. People who are are still making excuses; still not taking responsibility; still complaining; still angry; still blaming others; still trying to control others; still stuck in the victim mentality; still wondering; still hoping; still trying… Are you Still doing something that is getting you nowhere? It is as important to stay away from Still people as it is to stop being a Still person. Whether you know a Still person,…

  • LOCKDOWN

    Well, I know that for the many parents who have reached out to me since the Lockdown, it means feeling at a loss dealing with their children being at home all the time.   For some parents it means juggling a normal day’s work from  home, for others it means having absolutely no respite from house work, kids and homework. If that is not enough, the added responsibility of remote schooling, the panic around how will losing school time impact on their children school year and the financial uncertainty of our future has come with its fair share of added challenges, but mostly, parents have asked me the same question:…

  • Happy New Now!

    This time of year, all we hear and read are: New Year, New Me Leave the past behind New beginning This was a tough year, may the new one be kinder … Then we repeat these exact same thoughts the next year. Sounds familiar? To set out a future goal, it has to begin with you. If you don’t understand WHO you are, WHAT you want and what you are DOING to get it, your New Year Resolutions, will always be forever re-written on the 1st January. Forget about leaving the past, starting a new year, writing a new beginning. Stop thinking in terms of New Year, New Me. The…

  • Parenting Plan – cont.

    For many divorcing/separating parents, a Parenting Plan is a document that completes the divorce or separation agreement and sets some markers for their co-parenting relationship. While it states the obvious on getting parents to agree on the sharing of the children, it also outlines some finer details necessary to raise children together while being apart. But a Parenting Plan is not fail-proof and more often than not, parents find themselves contesting the terms after it has been made an order of court. So, why is that? This is because, for many separating/divorcing parents, the Parenting Plan lists a selection of generic guiding principles which are used as an inflexible template…

  • Be on the same page.

    I am often being approached by one parent enquiring on what their rights are regarding a Parenting Plan, because their co-parent’s lawyer is sending them a Parenting Plan that must be signed by a certain date. This is nothing short of bullying. A parenting plan is first and foremost a document developed, negotiated and agreed to by the parents of a minor child, and approved by the court. A parenting plan may address issues such as the child’s education, health care, and physical, social, and emotional well-being, and must include a time-sharing schedule. A Parenting Plan is the subject of regulation in ss 33 to 35 of the Children’s Act…

  • Child Maintenance

    Legally, both parents have an obligation and responsibility to support their children. This financial responsibility includes both direct and indirect costs such as education, medical, food, transport, clothing and accommodation. Child maintenance is then calculated bearing in mind the parents’ financial situations as well as the realistic needs of the child. The Maintenance Act creates a platform for one parent to apply for a maintenance order against the other parent to allow the first mentioned parent to contribute appropriately towards their child’s expenses when the parents’ earnings are not equal. So why are so many parents fighting and even defaulting on their responsibility towards their children? What must we understand…

  • The Blueprint Challenge

    So, I don’t usually jump on internet trends and fuel up with my own 2 cents and I certainly was not going to do it with the Momo Challenge! However, an article from KAREN HOPE BLACHER made me choose to act otherwise for the only reason that it is a brilliant article which actually offers a solution instead of digging further in a fear based propaganda. [The link to this article will be provided at the end of this article.] People are very quick to react and join in a collective fear, anger or ineffective behaviour. This mass uproar sure brings some level of awareness, but hardly any sustainable solution!…

  • Broken-hearted this Valentine’s Day? Rule No 1: Don’t call your ex!

    Image: ISTOCK 12 February 2019 – 11:27BY NIVASHNI NAIR Source: Times Live There are many ways to get through Valentine’s Day if you’re lonely and single. None of these involves calling your ex, say divorce experts.  You may be tempted to contact an ex this Valentine’s Day. Don’t make that call. SA relationship experts say exes are best left in the past. “While it is very tempting to call your ex when you’re feeling lonely, bear in mind the reasons why this relationship ended. These reasons are telling you that this person is not right for you so making that call means you are willing to settle for less than you…