Through out the year, I see parents in my practice who want what is best for their children, and who realise that their ongoing co-parenting conflicts bring nothing good for their children and themselves.
Many, unfortunately, are so wounded by their divorce/separation, that they find little strength in themselves to make the necessary efforts to put the conflicts aside.
While their intentions are well meaning in wanting to end their conflicts with their ex, for everyone’s sake, few see it fair that they should be the ones to make the first step towards reconciliation.
Feeling victimised is very normal, but staying in the role of the victim will contribute little to their situation and will, on the contrary, hinder the results they are looking for.
Being in victim mode leaves no room for you to take responsibility. To see changes, you need to be the one to take the first step out of this way of thinking and evaluate what it is that you can do differently to have a positive impact and remove yourself from the conflict because, truth is, it takes two to create a conflict and it takes one to end a conflict.
Take this opportunity to clarify your role in your conflict and, as the end of year approaches, why not reach out to call it a truce with your ex. Take a time out for your children to allow them to start collecting happy childhood memories.
Stop fighting over your legal rights and start reconciling over your children’s rights to enjoy both their parents, because the Law doesn’t raise children, parents do!