After a separation, Mother’s day and Father’s day are most likely days that have turned into a power struggle to have the day, or even just some time, spent with the children.
As a great advocate of a Child-Centred divorce, I aim to raise awareness that as the parents and adults in your children’s lives, these type of celebrations need to be seen as further occasions for Role Modelling.
- Remember that your children are dependent on your behaviour to shape themselves into their future adult.
- Remember that children are dependent on your ability to not talk to them about doing the right things, but showing them how to do the right things.
- Remember that your children are dependent on you, their parents, to collect happy childhood memories.
If you find yourself, this Father’s day, with some concerns and challenges as to whether your children’s father should be with the children, it is worth evaluating that, although this day celebrates fathers, it is about your children’s time to celebrate the part of them which they connect to their father. It doesn’t matter whether their father is a good or a “bad” dad. Even absent fathers need to be acknowledged, even if it means that they have done only one thing right, and this thing is called giving them life. So, allow your children their right to enjoy BOTH their parents and be allowed to be loved by BOTH their parents.
Fathers have a very important role to play in their children’s lives. Do not rob your children of this privilege.
TODAY, YOU have the power to actively contribute to your children’s happy childhood memory.
Whatever your resistance towards your ex and whatever your conflict, you can eliminate the tension that exists between the two of you by keeping the focus on the children.
Don’t value a legal piece of paper which says otherwise. Value that your children’s family means the freedom to love and be loved by both their parents.
If you are nonetheless struggling with these times and finding that it is about you sharing your children as opposed to your children’s right to have time with both their parents, SADSA can assist you with Co-Parenting Coaching or assist you with a Parenting Plan Partner.