The Day of Reconciliation came into effect after the 1994 first non-racial and democratic government. It had the mission to promote reconciliation and national unity as it recognised the need for racial unity and to help South Africans reconcile past events and facilitate a shared future together and for the generations to come.
Today, of all day, ought to provide inspiration to separating parents who struggle to put their past behind for the good of their children.
Understand that while your hurt and anger may very well be justified, hanging on to it and nurturing it for all the decisions you make about your future, is not only holding you back from moving on but it is robbing your children from experiencing the joy of having a family and allowing them from collecting happy childhood memories.
Many parents who enquire about my “TRUCE Letter” seldom persevere in engaging in this process when they realise that it doesn’t offer a quick fix and learn that they are the only one who can work at it. One of the most common excuse that I hear is: It’s not going to work with my ex. – A comment offered very quickly even before they have tried themselves.
Reconciling with your ex is not about loving them again or forgetting the hurt and harm they have caused you, it’s about recognising your children needs for loving and being loved by BOTH their parents. It’s about offering your children a shared future together so that they can grow up feeling supported and loved by their family, regardless if their parents are separated.
It’s about loving your children more, and accept – and not think – what is best for them, more than you hate your ex.
So what a better day today to take a deep breath, and show your children the value of SA’s Day of Reconciliation by taking the first step to reconcile with their other parent, for their sake and to give them a meaningful lesson in history, that the past cannot be changed but today you can do something different so that the future does not repeat it’s mistakes.
You have a choice and not making a choice is a choice.