What matters most when we communicate with other people?
Is it what we are trying to communicate, or is it the response we are getting from the listener?
If we mean something and the other person understands something else, who is responsible for the meaning of the communication? While the other person’s response is not your responsibility, what you are trying to convey, is.
Communicating well means not only taking responsibility for what you are saying but also for how you are being heard.
The response you get from the listener is a clue whether your communication is successful or not, be it advice, a command, direction or even a suggestion.
People can misunderstand the meaning of your communication for all sorts of reasons. Even if you think you have communicated the message to the best of your ability, it is the response of the listener that determines whether you have been successful in getting your message across or not.
If you do not get the response you want, you need to look at making changes to the way you are communicating.
Communicating well means not only taking responsibility for what you say, but also for how you are heard by others. To understand people’s perception filters is to also understand and be mindful of their needs and fears.
Anais Nin said: “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Therefore communication is shared and received from each person’s perception of reality. We listen to what we want to hear, not what others want to say, therefore people respond according to what they think you mean.
To ensure that you communicate efficiently and elicit a positive response it is recommended that you familiarise yourself with the 7 Cs of Communication (Scott M. Cutlip and Allen H. Center). It is a checklist that helps to improve communication skills and increases the chance that the message you are wanting to convey will be understood in exactly the same way as it was intended.
- Clear – Be clear about the goal of your message and the purpose of the message.
- Correct – Check the information you are providing is accurate
- Complete – Ensure the recipient has everything they need to understand your message and take action if needed.
- Concise – Keep to the point and keep it short and simple.
- Concrete – Be clear, not fuzzy
- Coherent – Make sure your message flows well and is laid out logically.
- Courteous – Think about your message from the recipient’s point of view and you are empathetic towards their needs.
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